Kindly forward all of my mail....

...here!

That's right, Days four and five of Chemo #5 were spent right here.

Day six was almost looking like a couch day, as well - I was seriously questioning my motivation to make it to my office after a morning shower was swiftly followed by a morning nap - but instead will chalk up yesterday's appearance at the beloved Marsh Center (aka "Castle Grayskull", aka "The Factory of Sadness") as a mildly productive day.

Nothing could be finer...

...than some yoga and some organically and naturally prepared breakfast in the mooooooooorning!

Click HERE to join me for 

Yoga on the Steps

at Freedom Plaza 

on Sunday,  October 14th 2012 

where we'll be gettin' our stretch on 

in support of Living Beyond Breast Cancer!

Chemo Day #5: Back in the Saddle Again

FIVE down, only ONE to go! Can I get a Hell Yeah? So this post should probably actually be several different posts. But I'm feeling kinda lazy, so hang on for a bumpy (read confusing) ride.

Part 1

Today's anthem is brought to you by none other than Boston's finest, Mr. Steven Tyler.

Or should I say Ms., as Steven looks more and more like an old Jewish woman with every Burger King commercial and appearance on American Idol. That's okay, Steven, I still love you. Rob was totally on the photo-journalism ball today and got lots of photos. Here are a few of Nurse Betsy (not to be confused with Nurse Betty - I hope) prepping my port.

I put a big ol' blob of emla on the port site before I leave the house, so I don't feel a  thing when the needle goes in.

I remember Rob getting a little trigger happy with the camera this morning, but I definitely don't remember flipping him the bird.

Pictured here: Me smiling like I can't taste the saline that's being pushed through my port to flush it.

Then Alyssa came for the lunch shift. I'm kinda glad she was speeding, because she brought yummy Panera treats. But I'm even more glad that she played the I'm on my way to visit my friend at chemo card to get out of the ticket when she was pulled over. Pictured here: her written warning. 

And here were are sans speeding warning. Yes, yes we did both go to the same school of turn to the side and keep your arms away from your body so that you'll look thin and fabulous posing for photos.

Of course I had to get a pic with my fabulous new friend, Marcella. Today was her last day of chemo!

So not only did Alyssa bring lunch (because she's awesome), she also brought dinner (because she's fabulous). But I must give credit where credit is due. To Chris for the lemon cupcakes with blackberry frosting. And to Lothar for the iron-rich beef.

Lothar and his mighty fine meats.

Part 2

I'm a day late in your monthly reminder of our I Survived 2012 party, so here you go. Less than 4 months away... mark your calendar for December 22nd!

Part 3

We're also planning some sort of post-chemo casual celebration. Likely the weekend of 29 Sept or 6 Oct. Likely at Giorgio's or somewhere equally near our house. You'll get an invite once I've figured out the details. But consider this your very loosely stated save-the-date.

Part 4

My feet are fat again.

This is what they looked like yesterday. Not as bad today, but it still takes a lot of effort to cram into the really cute shoes.

Super cute, I know. It seems they are none too fond of my return to PT. Monday my co-worker and I decided to "do the stairs" in our 6 floor office building. Three rounds of climbing 6 floors of stairs. Tuesday evening Rob and I discovered a new walking path that included part of the golf course. We walked for about 40 minutes. And Wednesday morning my feet were all like Hey, eff you! Small price to pay.

Part 5

I'm fairly certain I had a part 5. Yup... and now it's gone. So I guess I'll just leave you with Happy Friday Eve!

 

UPDATE! Free Stuff: Part Two

Here are a few more freebies I've come across.

#1 Good Wishes Scarves

I've just filled out the online request form, which was very simple and straight forward. I provided a little info about myself (reason for medical hair loss, name of hospital and doctor, etc.) and my top 3 choice of wraps from a selection of almost 60 colors and patterns.

Their site says my request should be confirmed in 48 to 72 hours and to contact  info@goodwishesscarves.org or 888-778-5998 with any issues. I'll post an update as soon as I receive my wrap!

UPDATE! I submitted by my request on 17 July, and yesterday received this email:

Yesterday, August 22nd, we sent out a beautiful It’s A Wrap.  Affixed to one of the tails of the Wrap you will find a small Swarovski Good Wishes fairy as a symbol of hope and Good Wishes from our team.

 

Please know that we are still sending our best wishes.

I'll post a photo when it arrives.

UPDATE 24 Aug '12: Not only did Good Wishes send this beautiful silk wrap, it was accompanied by a hand-signed get well card.

So to Taylor, Melissa, Debbie, Susie, Sienna, Mandy, Serina, Aldi, Maddie, Linda, Haley, Kemberly, Andrea, Allie, Gwen, Vikki, Kari, and Jackie... THANK YOU!

#2 Washington Mystics tickets

Inova is hosting their Annual Breast Health Awareness Game and Auction on 16 Sept and is providing 2 complementary tickets, along with a t-shirt, to the game. 

#3 Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book

This book has been called the breast cancer bible. I've read about it many times, I've just never gotten around to buying a copy. And I guess it's a good thing I haven't, because I received a copy yesterday in my goodie bag from rad onc at the Inova Alexandria Cancer Center.

Mom and I met with the radiation oncologist today. Who is fabulous, btw. I was skeptical when the nurse coordinator told me to plan two hours for this appointment. Apparently she knew what she was talking about. That's two hours after the nurse did her usual new patient things. And none of that included time spent waiting around for the doc (which was minimal). That was two undivided hours with the doc. She explained the radiation therapy process so clearly and thoroughly, I'm pretty sure I'm now qualified to perform the procedure. And! She spent many years working with the NIH. So she spoke in statistics and research, facts and figures... she was speaking my lanuage!

So allow me to give you the dime store version of what she said.

Lymph nodes act like tiny filters in our bodies to help fight off infection. You've got them in several conveniently located places in your body, and the co-located body parts "drain" to their neighboring nodes. If you've got an infection or something equally uggy, the ugginess should get "filtered" through your nodes where it will be combated by all the white blood cells that like to chill there. So your lymph nodes are like MTV Cribs for your white blood cells.

Your breasts "drain" to your axillary, aka your arm pit. Must be a rent controlled neighborhood. Anyway, if you have cancer cells in your breast, they can bust loose and one of the first places they flee to is your axillary lymph nodes. Kinda like Upper East Side kids who try to be rebelious and slum it in... oh, I don't know... the village.

If this happens, you may plan to make good friends with this machine.

Why do I say may make good friends? Because that will depend on what's found when I go in for surgery. Because my biopsy was positive for cancer cells (bummer, I know) my surgical oncologist will also remove some of my left axillary lymph nodes in the same procedure that she's removing breast tissue. (Removing lymph nodes comes with its own bag of tricks - like lymphedema - but I'll save that for another post.) The results of those biopsied nodes will determine my radiation fate.

If the chemo didn't kick all their little cancer cell asses, radiation is a for sure. If the chemo did its job and those nasty little cancer cells ran away with their tails between their legs... then radiation is up for discussion. It has a lot of pros and its fair share of cons.

Biggest "Pro" of Radiation: It nicely rounds out the trifecta of breast cancer treatment. And, when you're 31, that triple-threat is a nice thing to have on your side. Both from the medical stand-point, and for peace o' mind, it's a good thing to have brought out all of the big guns in your cancer ass kickin' arsenal.

And now the cons:

No, not that kind of con.

1. Radiation causes cancer. And by that I mean it's hell on your skin. In the process of zapping any last cancer cell that was stupid enough to stick around through chemo and surgery, radiation does a lot of damage to your oh-so-sensitive skin cells. This is bad for a lot of reasons. One of which is that it makes life harder on the reconstructive surgeon (and on the reconstructed patient). Pretty much, the radiation docs and the plastic surgery docs are at war with each other. Kinda like the Bloods and the Crips.

Hey, way to keep your references current!

2. Radiation is bad for your heart and lungs. But they try to keep as much of both out of the radiated area. So yay for that.

3. Treatment is five days a week for six-and-a-half weeks. Oh yes, you've read that right. 30+ sessions of getting zapped in the boob. The good news is it's a fake boob by... so zap away!

And about those fake boobs. Some plastic surgeons prefer to wait until after radiation is complete to perform the exchange surgery (swapping out the temporary tissue expanders for the permanent implants)... typically 6 months after radiation so the skin has lots of time to recover. So that means an extra 6 months with the hard, tennis-ball like expanders. I think we'll chalk that up as Con #4 of radiation.

And in other non-radiation related news, tomorrow is Chemo #5. Which is awesome (I know - using chemo and awesome in the same breath - WTH?) because Alyssa has signed up to be my chemo buddy. And because she paid a special visit to her meat buddy, Lothar, for some iron-rich goodness. So lots to look forward to.

More tomorrow, have a great evening!

All the kings horses and all the kings men...

...couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Yesterday Rob and I met with a reconstructive surgeon. Those of you playing along at home may be thinking, didn't you already do that? The answer is Yes, yes I did. But the first surgeon's office was a pain in the ass to get to. So yesterday we met with a new one, who showed us an informative (and horrifying) slide show on all of my reconstruction options. More on that in a minute. First, let me back up and bring everyone up to speed.

At my last appointment with the surgical oncologist, she said that the tumor had shrunk enough with chemo that a lumpectomy may now be an option. (Originally, not so much, due to its size and location.) And that's still an option we're considering. But here's a nasty little word none of us ever wants to hear... recurrence. The younger you are the first time around, the higher your chances are of it coming back. (I've read statistics of anywhere from 13% all the up to 40%, but there are a lot of variables going into those numbers so I won't bore you with the details. In any case, those are odds I'm not interested in playing.) One way to significantly reduce the risk of local recurrence is to remove all of the tissue via bilateral mastectomy. Hence the reconstructive surgeon. Got it? Good! Back to the slide show!

So we went through the pictorial of all the procedures. This link from the American Cancer Society does a really good job of explaining it all. And is far less graphic than what we saw yesterday, so read away!

There are several different procedures available that involve removing skin and fat (and sometimes muscle) from one part of your body (usually either your stomach or back, but sometimes from your butt) and transplating it to create new boobs. Yea....no thanks!

The other option starts with tissue expanders and ends with implants.

Kinda like this.

The benefit of this option is that both surgery time and recovery time are much faster. This link has a nice step-by-step photo sequence of the process, complete with nipple reconstruction and tattooing.

Tattoing? you might be asking. Oh, yes. You see, reconstructed breasts don't have nipples. It's kind of like buying a new car. Sure, you can get the leather trim package, but that's going to cost extra. And we all know that the difference between ordinary and extraordinary...is that little extra. So after the reconstruction is nice and healed, the finishing touches are put on in a follow up procedure. And the final step involves tattooing to create the illusion of an areola. Bet you were dying to know that. Oh, and the tattoo artist's name? Vinny. I wish I were making that up.

But then there's the pesky issue of radiation. It's unconfirmed at this point whether I'll need radiation following surgery. But because my lymph node biopsy was positive, chances are pretty good that radiation is in my future. So I'll be meeting a radiation oncologist in two weeks.

How does radiation impact reconstruction? you ask. It means that the window of time to fill the tissue expanders get smaller. The reconstructive surgeon typicallys likes to have 2 months to gradually fill the expanders. This can vary dependent upon the desired size of the exanders (how much they need to be filled) and the patient's tolerance for discomfort (kinda like getting your braces adjusted, how frequently can you put up with that). But the radiation oncologist only wants to give you 4 to 6 weeks post-op before she starts zapping you. So you'd better get those expanders filled up!

Then after you've been radiated every day for 5 weeks, your skin is pretty darn fried. So you're going to want to wait a little while before you go slicin' and dicin' to swap out those expanders for the permanent implants.

Sound like a lot of information? Yup, that's how Rob and I were feeling after yesterday's appointment. So this weekend we're going to unwind from all of that with Brent and Andi and some Oktoberfest lager. Then round out our weekend with a visit at Grandma's new apartment. Have a great one!

Pain is weakness leaving the body

I don't know whether I've mentioned this, but my PT gear has been on hiatus since... oh, I dunno... the beginning of chemo. Okay, that's a lie. Since I was first diagnosed. No wait, that's a lie, too. Since before we went to Puerto Rico. And that's the truth. That's right, I have not gotten my PT on in five months... for shame! But I'm glad to report the hiatus is over.

Tuesday my team at work went for a staff offsite at the gym for some yoga during lunch. It almost looked kinda, exactly, nothing like this...

There's has got to be an easier way to paint your own toe nails.

Not wanting to break my new streak of physical fitness, I hit the cardio machines yesterday after work. It went a little something like this...

elliptical - 1, Kiki - 0

stationary bike - 1, Kiki - 0

treadmill - 0, Kiki - 1

Take that, treadmill! Rob warned me that I should take it easy and not try to go at cardio like I'm used to. He was right. My breathing and my heart rate held up well on the bike and the elliptical. But my quads were screaming.

Yes, that was my good friend anemia reminding me of who's in charge. So I switched over to the treadmill at a slow pace with a little bit of an incline. And between the three machines I was able to get 30 minutes in. Not too shabby.

Weekend Recap!

After Chemo #4 took me down for the count for five days, I had a lot of catching up to do this weekend. Rob and I definitely made up for all that time I spent couching surfing and then some!

Kristen and Ryan drove all the way from CT to spend the day with us. So we invited Anna over and grilled enough food to feed a small army.

And then we had a baby! Or maybe I just watched one-too-many I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant episodes last week. What actually happened was... we went to visit Andrew and Candice (you may remember them from such posts as this one) and their brand new baby girl, Lia Marie.

And then we went to the fair!

Where Mom and I participated in the world's smallest barn-raising...

...I had some corn (mmmm fair food)...

...and Rob had a moderately portioned plate of ribbon potatoes.

Chemo Fog Has Lifted!

The chemo fog has finallly lifted! A day behind schedule... but, hey, I'll take it.

Never underestimate the restorative powers of an Up All Night marathon courtesy of hulu.

Christina Applegate: fellow breast cancer ass-kicker.

And! The most exciting news... my shoes fit! C'mon... that's about as good as it's going to get for a Wednesday.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Pity: Party of One!

That's right, I've been feeling pretty pitiful here on Day 5 of Chemo 4. Fortunately, I've had my faithful sidekick along for all the daytime-TV-watching-goodness.

Seriously, lady? 8 hours, 3 naps, and 2 loads of laundry to show for your day?

Moxie is a fantastic motivator (well, her, and the I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant marathon on TLC), so here is something ever-so-slightly more productive... catching up on some Thank You's!

First, for these beautiful flowers from Rob. The perfect pick-me-up today!

And for the awesome dinner we had with Alyssa and Chris this weekend.

And for the delicious meal Alyssa's parents brought over the other week. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Verner!

And for the yummy edible arrangement Estera had delivered.

And of course for all of the texts, emails, cards, and messages - really appreciate them all. Have a great week!

Chemo Day 4: Beat it!

Chemo Day 4 is in the bag. Can I get a HELL YEAH!? I slipped up on my photo-journalism and forgot to get a pic of me and Dad while he was with me for the breakfast shift. But I did get a photo of me and Rob as I was finishing up for the day.

I just noticed that my dress looks a lot like a hospital gown in this photo. And it's much cuter than that in person. You'll have to take my word for it.

Today's theme song is also brought to you by Rob's submission. 

What's that you say? We have a sick sense o' humor in this household. Yea... not the first time we've heard that.

Count down to Chemo #4

Today was pre-chemo check-up day... woohoo! Here's the run down on my top 3 gripes ... err uh side effects from this last treatment cycle. 

1. Edema. I already took you on an adventure into Fat Footville, so I won't rehash all the glorious details here. But I will tell  you what the oncologist had to say about it: It's a normal side effect of Taxotere. Expect it to get worse with these upcoming treatments. And it will go away. Thaaaaaanks.
2. Shortness of breath and muscle fatigue. As in, one flight of stairs is do-able. Two flights of stairs - and throw in a basket of laundry for good measure - and my lungs and quads feel like I'm half-way through a Metabolic Effect class. The doc's take on this: I have my good friend anemia to thank. 
3. Weight gain. Now I'm more inclined to blame this on attribute this to side effect number 2, which has lead to an increased lack of physical activity. Well, that, and the overall general fatigue, and the swamp monkey butt heat and humidity that is a Virginia summer. But what's the doc say? You're not gaining weight, you're retaining water. So stay away from the scale. Also, that dress looks fabulous on you. (Maybe I made that last one up, but it was a pretty fabulous dress.) My response to her: Try telling that to all of the clothes and shoes that don't fit at the moment.

All in all, it was a good check up. I'm still doing well with treatment and my hemoglobin is still low, but not transfusion low so it was a good day. The doc also cleared me to go back to grad school for the Fall semester... which Rob and I are still deciding on. If I do, it will just be one class (Issues in International Social Development - jealous much?) instead of two.

And now I'm all set for Chemo Day 4 tomorrow. Dad has got the breakfast shift, so he'll be picking me up bright 'n' early. Then Rob will come up for the lunch shift. There's just one thing I'm missing... my theme song!

What should it be? I haven't heard anything really inspiring this week, so leave me a comment with what you think Theme Song #4 should be.

To help you along, here's a recap from previous treatments:

Chemo Day 1: Pat Benatar - Hit Me with Your Best Shot
Chemo Day 2: David Guetta - Titanium
Chemo Day 3: Bon Jovi - Livin' on a Prayer

You be the judge

Here's a brief update on the hair situation. For those of you playing along at home, you may remember that this is what Day 8 of Chemo 2 looked like...

I make this look good

 And here's Day 21 of Chemo 3...

I know it doesn't look that different, but look closely. See it? Peach fuzz? Or the down feather-ey stuff that covers little baby chickens.

So which is it... produce or poultry? You be the judge.

Confession time

Okay, I have a confession to make to you all. Yesterday, I broke down and got one of these...

This is the temporary Temporary Placard. The permanent Temporary Placard (good for 6 months) should arrive in the mail next week.

Now, before anyone freaks out, I have NOT taken a turn for the worse. I repeat, I have NOT taken a turn for the worse. I do, however, have what we in my office refer to as heart healthy parking.

See the structure vaguely off in the distance? Just there on the horizon? That's my office.

And this is the view of the parking lot as I leave my office every afternoon.

It's not terribly obvious in either of these photos, but our parking lot is not only large, it's also on an incline. Let's do a little math, shall we? Steep hill + anemia + 100 degree weather + good ol' Virginia swamp monkey butt humidty = potential for a face plant on the sidewalk.

Another disclaimer: I have NOT face planted on the sidewalk. Or anywhere else, for that matter. But my motivation for requesting special people parking came from three places.

First, it was in the name of research and making myself smart on available resources. Love me some resources - can't help it, it's the social worker in me. For anyone who's curious, obtaining a Temporary Disabled placard in Virginia is very simple.

Step 1 - complete VA DMV form MED 10.
Step 2 - ask your medical provider to sign page 2 under the LICENSED PHYSICIAN / PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT / NURSE PRACTITIONER MEDICAL CERTIFICATION section.
Step 3 - Bring the form, along with a valid ID, and $5 to your nearest VA DMV branch (I believe you can also mail it in.)

Second, Rob told me a very compelling story of someone from his early days in our beloved Corps who locked his knees in formation (rookie mistake) and face planted the parade deck. Then something about biting through his own cheek... busting out a whole bunch of teeth... and general visage disfigurment. So I thought meh, why risk it? 

And third, special people parking really could come in handy this holiday season.